2015: always a work in progress
Every year I used to write down my accomplishments for the year that passed and my intentions for the year ahead. I think that is a good practice to do as it’s always good for me to reflect and then make plans and give myself a direction. This year, well, as a result from the past two years of lots of change, I’ve let things go. For instance it’s the third day of January and I haven’t reflected on last year nor have I really thought about this year and in the past I would be stressing about it and think about how I am slacking already and the year is just beginning. Now, I shrug my shoulders and think- meh, whatever.
But what I have done is actually get myself in the studio for a bit of time each day of this year so far. That in and of itself is a big accomplishment these days. It may not be for a huge chunk of time, but I’m just happy and content to get some time in.
January 1st: First time in the studio in almost 3 weeks.
I love taking photos of of my paintings in progress. Capturing a moment in the midst of formation, where so many questions pop up followed by temporary answers, then again more questions. It’s a moment where the piece is not yet realized and could go in a number of directions. Possibilities.
Sometimes I just am really liking what is going on in the painting and I want to hold that moment. I may like what is happening, but I know that for that particular painting, that the resolution has not yet been reached. To feel excitement at something developing is like being excited with imperfection, at something not yet realized. I think it’s good to be able to sit with the uncertainty. Sometimes though it takes a long time for an answer to be reached and that can be frustrating. But all things have its time, I am learning.
January 3rd: My studio has been a disaster zone for quite some time. So the afternoon was spent moving furniture, cleaning up, rethinking the energy flow of the whole space.
I have decided that my intention for 2015 to always consider myself, my life as a work in progress and not get all worked up about the small stuff or the big stuff either. Life is fluid and always changing, so why am I always trying to get everything just so? It’s impossible. But maybe, just maybe in the letting go, everything becomes possible and the possibilities become endless. In the end, I want to mother my children, make and eat good food, experience full living with my loved ones, and make stuff and send it out into the world. All the rest- meh, whatever.