Mercy

“Sometimes I wonder how all those people who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness, the melancholia, the panic fear which is inherent in a human situation.”
Graham Greene

mercy
Mercy
encaustic mixed media
18×18 inches

I painted this last month and I consider it the first painting I made in my new studio. I had completed a commissioned painting earlier in the month, and while that was huge and I am grateful for the opportunity and always welcome commissions, it was not my personal work. It was not that inner voice speaking to me, needing to be heard.

I really needed to create a painting that expressed what I could not/cannot even verbalize about what the whole flood/loss/upheaval has been for me. I’m not even sure if this can even capture it. But it needed to be created to get it out of my system.

I have this hanging up in my family room right now. Honestly though I am fighting an urge to paint over it. Not because I am unhappy with it. But because I feel like I was able to express what I needed to express and now I’m done with it and ready to move on. Today I had a full day of painting, the first in a long time. I made a leap. I figured out a new series I will be working on that will be about my recent upheavals. And I will be working abstractly. And it fills me with excitement to get back into the studio and forge ahead. Part of my vision for this new series is about obscuring. So perhaps painting over this is in the future. My husband though always tells me that I shouldn’t paint over my paintings. I agree. And I disagree. As is the usual.

Editing and selectivity are processes that provide the first steps in determining and conveying content.
-Gerald Brommer

11 Comments

  1. I’m holding my breath at the thought of you painting over this beautiful painting. Perhaps in time when you look at it you will love it for the way it has helped you to heal but if it makes you feel uncomfortable then you should go with your gut feelings and paint over it.

    1. Thanks Robyn. Im leaving it in my house as opposed to my studio for now. If I bring it back to my studio, I may not be able to restrain myself! I will let it be for now. It was cathartic working on it for sure

  2. beautiful and strong and LARGE. i have cleared a space to try and work larger in my new space and you have inspired me to give it a go. love it B and think it should be left alone for the here and now…it was a 1st step to what comes next.

    1. I painted a 3×4 foot encaustic panel last month! It was fun…much more physically demanding. Well, for me, as you know, I’m not the biggest person. 🙂 I hope you get to try larger. It’s freeing. More room to explore

  3. I love the fact that you touched on the idea that sometimes a work of art is made as a way to express an inner emotion or experience and that once expressed, the need for the work is over.

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