place

 |  July 14, 2008


forever, mixed media

It’s almost time for my departure. It’s at that point where the packing is almost done, but there are still tons of little things to pack up and clean. It seems neverending. And here I am needing to write and document my thoughts right now.

On my mind thoughts on Place and Identity have been forefront. Everytime I filled out a change of address form and deleted “Seattle” and filled it in with “Chicago”, I would get this weird twinge inside. Like a little panic. I feel like my idenity, my way of life has become so intertwined with Seattle, with Place, that I will be a little lost once we leave and find myself in a totally different environment. Who will I be? What will I be? How will I be?

I thought how strange to have Identity so intertwined with Place. Just another case of me being too much in my thoughts.

But then I thought some more and realized I did that too when I lived in Chicago when I was younger. Chicago was a time of survival for me. It was one of the roughest times of my life, but also a time in my life where I felt the most alive. Funny how that works. It was a time where I grew into myself. My core self became forged.

I felt nitty gritty just like that city can be.

Seattle though, was the place where my creativity came into being. This is where I allowed my art to bloom. I let myself hear that need to create. I mentioned this to my husband and he said it was probably because I wasn’t in survival mode anymore as I had been in Chicago. Which is a very interesting observation. Seattle is also where I became Wife and Mother. Wife, Mother, Artist.

I became more open and organic, just like this city can be.

And now…..what lies ahead? I am looking forward to what’s next. But also a little freaked out!

I teared up this evening saying goodbye at a get-together thrown for us. And in the car, I cried. Everything seemed illuminated and in slow motion on that drive home. Familiar images being burned into my eyes.

Noah and I leave early Tuesday morning. My computer will be packed up Monday. So for now….see you in Chicago! I can’t wait to get some pizza at Lou’s!



me back in 2005

Good bye Seattle! You’ve been so good to us! We will be back!

15 Comments

  1. by Carmen on July 14, 2008  2:17 am Reply

    Mmmmm, I love Lou Malnati's! Yummo. My favorite pizza in Chicago! Have a slice for me ok.

    I think it's pretty amazing that you are able to put your Thoughts of Place and Identity into such definition. It sounds as though you really do know who, what and how you are and that's who you will remain and continue growing as.

    How neat that you came into Self in Chicago and now you're going back there with so much more of who you are. Imagine the possibilities!

    Here's to safe travels on Tuesday. I'll be in flight most of the day too... taking my little guy to grandma's in Kansas.

    Best of luck! You'll be in my thoughts.

    xo,

    Carmen

  2. by Binky on July 14, 2008  2:53 am Reply

    We'll be missing you here in Seattle but wish the best of your life in Chicago.
    Keep blogging so we can trach how high you are going to go.

  3. by Binky on July 14, 2008  2:54 am Reply

    Rats!! From now on I preview what I write!

  4. by Genie on July 14, 2008  7:13 am Reply

    Best wishes From England. and look forward to hearing and seeing your new place

  5. by Leah on July 14, 2008  11:16 am Reply

    ((((hugs & love)))) comin your way for a safe journey and smooth transition.

  6. by carolweiler@cocmcast.net on July 14, 2008  11:42 am Reply

    Welcome back to Chicago-hope to see your beautiful art exhibited somewhere-I live NW of the city and treasure every moment I spend there. And Lu's pizza is our favorite. Head staight for the Parthenon in GreekTown also for great food! Home is where your heart is. Carol Weiler

  7. by stephanie lee on July 14, 2008  11:42 am Reply

    I've been thinking of you as you are uprooting your tree and preparing to replant it elsewhere. A journey of opposites, in a way - wanting to go, wanting to stay. Familiar and new. Your words are beautiful and I look forward to hearing of your adventures in Chicago!!!

    Hugs and happy trails wishes to you!

  8. by Angela Rockett on July 14, 2008  11:48 am Reply

    Oh, Bridgette. It looks like I won't be able to see you before you leave after all. :(

    I'll miss you. Good luck in your new home. Hopefully I'll get to visit you in Chicago sometime.

    Looking forward to seeing how your new home informs your artwork.

  9. by Gina on July 14, 2008  6:33 pm Reply

    This post touched me, Bridgette. You are going through a major life change and are sensitive enough to feel all the emotions involved in your move. Chicago will be your new blank canvas. Even if you’ve lived there before, this time will be different, since, as you say, you are now a Wife, Mother, Artist. It won’t be the same life as Seattle, but you will grow and change and respond to your environment. You will bring forth creative ideas that would have never emerged in Seattle. You will shape Chicago in your own image; you will find places to love, places to inspire, places to refresh.

    I have also thought long about Place and how I’ve longed to live elsewhere than this city and state I’ve never liked nor felt comfortable in. My people originally came from Chicago, going back to ancestors who crossed the great ocean because they were starving. Some fine day, I will move west, to a place of my own choosing, and might also be surprised with separation emotions because even though I dislike this place, it has shaped me. It is where I’ve spent a chunk of my life and where I became Wife and Artist.

    The very best to you in your new journey, Bridgette. Give yourself time to reflect, time to express, time to settle in, even time to be exhausted. We will all be here waiting when you write us from your new Place.

  10. by Lorie McCown on July 15, 2008  9:47 am Reply

    creativity is everywhere..though moving and saying goodbye is always hard. All the best in your new home.

  11. by smith kaich jones on July 17, 2008  6:26 pm Reply

    I put off commenting on this post until you were on your way - already there, really.

    What a sad/happy thing life can be. In order for one door to open, one must close. Or maybe not. It's still back there, left a little ajar, lights on. You can probably see the light if you just look from the corner of your eye. Yes, just like that. A piece of you in both places.

    Take care. And have fun unpacking!

    :) Debi

  12. by Mary Buek on July 21, 2008  9:29 am Reply

    Bridgette: This post made me remember how I felt every time we moved, and we moved so often for a while. It is gut-wrenching, no matter whether you liked where you lived or hated it. In every place I have lived, it was when the shopkeepers recognized and greeted me that I felt most settled in. Good luck; your art will thrive wherever you go.

  13. by rivergardenstudio on July 25, 2008  1:28 pm Reply

    Oh, what a life change you are undergoing. your writing is so sad and excited at the same time, I love the way you can put into words your thoughts. I imagine that your art will help you through all these transitions and am excited to hear about your new home, especially your studio space. Have safe travels...Roxanne

  14. by Tricia on July 29, 2008  9:57 am Reply

    i will be thinking of you and your family as you settle into your new home. oh what new adventures await!

    livi was about noah's age when we moved into the house we are in now...i am remembering how tiring it was to unpack with a little one but how exciting it was to feel like i was at the begining of a new chapter in my life.


    many hugs,

    tricia
    p.s. don't forget to make some time for rest. :)

  15. by redredday on July 29, 2008  10:03 am Reply

    hi Bridgette, hope this finds you well and that you're excitedly settling into your new place. missing you here...

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