I’ve Been Birthed Many Times Over

I finished this in late March. I haven’t posted about it because for some reason I just kind of felt wordless about it. Honestly, I have been feeling pretty wordless in general. I wake up, read the news and sometimes I just shake my head in disbelief. Other times I feel like screaming. And other times I get overwhelmed with such grief for my country and I just feel like crying.

Back in late January when I was in the studio I found myself taking paintings and either covering it with black or with white, obliterating everything that came before. This piece took me months, years even, to be made. There used to be a tree in this. I even had it in a show. But this past January, I heated up the piece and got rid of the tree and then painted over a part that I couldn’t get rid of, with white encaustic paint. I left it up on my wall for a long time, pondering what to do. If I should add another image. It is really difficult for me to leave out recognizable imagery. But this piece told me to trust that it didn’t need it. And so, I did.

So. Many. Layers. Of. Fabric. And. Wax. Lots of handstitching. The whole piece is sewn on to a 20x16x2 inch canvas so it floats off the wall.

A lot of the fabric I used were from old lace, cloth and even old baptism gowns I found at estate sales or thrifted. It’s hard to see the nuances of the piece. But hopefully one can get the feel from some of these detail shots.

I also made a video on Instagram

I’ve always turned to stitching in my mixed media pieces. For a variety of reasons. The texture. The evidence of a human hand at work. A reference to what was/is considered women’s work. But also it is a reference to mending, healing, repair of something that has been broken or ripped apart.

Today I was driving in my car and this song came on in a CD mix that my bff made me eons ago. I actually can only listen to cds in my car. I mean who even listens to CDs anymore?! I sound like a dinosaur. Anyway, the song is called Stay Golden by Au Revoir Simone and as I was listening to it, it made me think of this piece and pushed me to finally write this blog and get the piece on my website. The video is not the official video, but I like it. It fits.

Stay Golden

I saw it coming
I just thought that you should know
I’m feeling better every day
I’m only waiting if you stay
So don’t feel bad
Your faith was an illusion
And you’re as loyal as your faith
Will let you be

Your expectation
It’s not hard to live without
I’m feeling better every day
And emptiness still leaves a space
So don’t feel bad
You lost all your emotion
And may you find all your relations
Will keep you free

A careless bird is complicated
An empty nest still leaves a space