Art is coming face to face with yourself. ~ Pollock
Slowly making progress this week. Lot of prepping of boards, building up my paintings, layer by layer.
2 24×24 inch panels waiting for the next layer or whatever comes next
I often look at my paintings at this stage above and I think, these are solid paintings. I could stop here. And I have been told by artists that I look up to, that yes, indeed, I could stop there. Abstract compositions. And I like them, I do. But they feel unfinished to me. And I’ve struggled with this for months, perhaps even a year or two. Do I stop or keep going? This internal argument was really becoming quite a battle in my head. To the point where it was disrupting my creative process. Where I actually felt the opposite of joy in my creating. Something wasn’t right.
And I realized that I needed to continue with my storytelling. That’s what my work is about for me. I need to bring in found materials into my paintings. I love the abstract. I love realism. I love time worn metals and wood. I love fabric and piecing them together with meandering stitches, threads fraying over the edge. I like things that contain a story, that have had a life. Bringing all those elements together in a piece is what brings me joy. I spent some time one evening looking through old image files of all the mixed media journal covers that I had made over the years. Where my process was just that- using paint, my photos, cloth, thread, metal, wood, sticks, stones, wire, paper, etc.
This is what I love to do.
This is my joy.
I have been working with Lisa Pressman for the past few months, discussing my work, honing in on the direction that I want to go in, etc. and she had me answer a series of questions at the very beginning of our talks. Looking back at my answers to her questions from a few months ago, I realized that my answers to this internal battle was already there. I just needed to get back to myself and trust that inner voice.
“Let me listen to me and not to them.” Gertrude Stein