Surrender

Widening Circles

by Rainer Maria Rilke

I live my life in widening circles
that reach out across the world.
I may not complete this last one
but I give myself to it.

I circle around God, around the primordial tower.
I’ve been circling for thousands of years
and I still don’t know: am I a falcon,
a storm, or a great song?

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When I was thinking of what to title this piece, I kept thinking of the word “Surrender”, but then was like that sounds negative or…wimpy. Especially in this time of fight or flight that we’re living in, I don’t want to suggest giving up. But then I thought of this poem by Rainer Maria Rilke and that line- “but I give myself to it” is what I am trying to echo.

This piece first came together about two weeks ago, heading into mid April. And I remember the day I worked on this (because I wrote about it on my IG) -I was driving home in my car, listening to the news, and I felt like screaming. Every day the news felt like being choked. And two weeks later, it still does. At that time whenever I would paint, what was showing up on my panels was a lot of breathing space in them. In my creative practice, I often create what I wish for. Peace, breathing space, calm.

So when I think of the word “surrender”, I’m thinking of letting go of what I can’t control and focusing on the fact that right now maintaining sanity is a practice. I read that in a post by a guy on IG named Brad Stulberg .