Incertitude Revisited

In the dream I heard an order: You will come to the city- describe it. So I asked, How shall I know what is meaningful from what is not?

Later I found myself in a field, winnowing wheat from chaff. Under a grey sky and lilac clouds, the work was hard, but simple. Time didn’t exist, rather it had turned to stone. I kept working in silence until she appeared. Stooping over the field, she took pity on a weed and I, to please her, added it to the harvest. Then she did the same for a stone. After, she begged mercy for a mouse. When she had gone, I was confused. The straw seemed more beautiful and the grain, unyielding. Doubt overwhelmed me. I stopped my work. Since then wheat and chaff have mixed. Under the grey sky the horizon is a smudge, and no voice answers. ~Cristina Perri Rossi, The Ship of Fools

sold

I can’t believe it’s been so long since my last post! It has been a really busy month, with no camps or classes scheduled for my son before he heads to preschool next week. And my daughter, now 18 months, is a typical squirmy, always running, climbing 18 month old who seems to be inches away from disaster at all times! I have found moments here in there to get into my studio and have finished several journals and paintings and have others in the works. And of course, so many things swirling in my head, waiting to be heard. So when I have a child-free moment I have to choose- take photos, blog, or paint. And this past month I had been so starved for studio time, that I always chose to paint.

For the above journal I used a print of a painting that I made several years ago. I dipped it in wax and used the wax as the adhesive to the underneath layers already on my panel. The rest of the panel I painted with acrylics amd experimented with alcohol inks that Sue Stover gave me while we were at EncaustiCamp in July. Sue had told me that you can use alcohol inks on encaustic! So I have been experimenting with that too, but with this piece I just wanted to try it with acrylics. I did a lot of layering with the inks and wiping away, which created really interesting effects and texures. My friend, Binky Bergsman, explained to me that if you put alcohol ink down on acrylics, let it dry and then add alcohol on top, you can then wipe it off which “erases” a painted portion of your work. I had been doing that without understanding why.

The original “Incertitude” painting recently left my studio and now lives in Oklahoma. But this journal, Incertitude Revisited is currently for sale over at amanobooks.com.

There are other reasons why I have revisited incertitude, metaphorically speaking- I have been feeling torn between two styles of painting recently, which creates a feeling of uncertainty for me. For many years now I have created moody mixed media works, using photos of my trees and birds as the central imagery. But lately I have been drawn to brighter colors, more folk-ish style of painting with my bowls. They are both so very different, yet both are me. Part of me thinks that I need to pick one and stick to it. But the other part….well, you know, if something wants to be heard, it needs to be heard.

I have lots of things to post to illustrate my split-personality conundrum, but I still need to photograph them all. Just not enough time to do it all!

Oh, and by the way, the excerpt at the top was the original inspiration of the painting of the crow that I did several years ago. I have always loved that passage. I read it in its original spanish and it’s especially beautiful read in its original tongue.